I woke up groggily at first, but not long after, my spirit stirred. It hungered for Him.

I resist. That has been my reaction lately to His truth. A battle in my heart.

Why?
I search the depths of my heart and my thoughts for answers.

I know what I should do, so I open my Bible. I start to read the words I know as truth, yet have a hard time accepting them as truth.

Psalm 145

…the Lord is good to all

…you satisfy the desire of every living thing.

I feel a subtle anger, self righteousness rising up inside me, building.

Really God, good? Satisfied desires? I don’t see that when I see the starving children, the mistreated women, the mother hurting for her sick children.

The background noise fades in. My husband is conversing with our oldest. We teach our children to feed their souls before their bodies. He is asking what she read, what she learned.

..I don’t understand why God chose that way.

What if your Legos said to you…

The words fade out.
He is illustrating to our daughter that God is the creator, we are the creation.

I think about what I just overheard, remembering that He is the potter, I am the clay. (Isaiah 64:8)

I am the play-doh molded by great big hands. I, the play-doh, with my simple mind, am trying to tell my perfect, omniscient creator, He’s wrong?

There are terrible things going on in this world, the effect of sin.Yet, He is good. We deserve death, but he let’s us live. Not just live as we think of life, but an eternal life with Him, without sin!

He satisfies the desires of our hearts?Yes, He does. That doesn’t mean I get (what I think) I want. That means that every living thing ultimately desires Him. My heart desires God and He gives of Himself to me.

God, thank you for being good to all. We do not deserve your goodness. Thank you for being the one that satisfies all our desires. Help me to look to you for that satisfaction and not to earthly things. Thank you for loving and molding my resistant, hard heart. Amen.

Psalm 145:9,16

The LORD is good to all,
and his mercy is over all that he has made.

You open your hand;
you satisfy the desire of every living thing.

My soul is at peace.