I used to feel kind of useless, when a friend experienced a burden, especially with something that I had no experience. How could I really help when I had no comprehension of what they were going through? What could I say? My mind went blank and I felt that I would be no help. Sometimes I would go be with them and really have nothing to say or do, and I thought, should have I even have bothered?
I found out through our burdened experience that I really wasn’t looking for my friends to have answers. We had lots of doctors giving us guidance. I was not looking to them to be doing some amazing thing for me. Sometimes it was just reassuring knowing there was someone there, knowing that I was not alone.
One friend came and sat with us in the waiting room during our son’s first surgery. I didn’t ask her to come. She just told me that she would be there for us. Others just made us aware that anything we needed, we could call on them. What meant even more, was when they would check in on us.
Realize that while your friend is burdened, your friendship isn’t going to be the 50-50 relationship that it usually is. This is a time where you give the 95. You are reaching out to them. Your burdened friend will most likely not have the energy to search out your companionship, but they still need you.
Call them. Text them. Stop by and just be there.